If you want to know how to reconcile a broken relationship, I like to tell you that it is doable, but it will be a challenge. How much energy you need to put in relies on a few things.
The first thing is to understand why the relationship collapsed in the first place. Is it because someone cheated? If yes, who has cheated? Is it you, or your partner? Such situation is hard to reconcile unless both couple are willing to put in a lot of effort to make things right.
We often assume the person who has committed the adultery would be the one to sort things out, but this isn’t really true. The fact is that it will require the same amount of work from their partner to overcome the anger, the fear of getting hurt for another time, and the desire to take revenge.
Some relationship might break down slowly over a period of time, and it is easier to reconcile as long as both people are committed to work on it. Just remember that it takes time and energy. But sadly, most of the relationships in this category collapse because it is lack of nurturing. The breakdown is not due to any major crisis between partners, but it is caused by a series of small little things, seemingly not important, but add up and weaken the bond over time until it fails.
In this type of situation, the two of you will need to do an honest evaluation of what each person has done, and not done enough. When both of you start to acknowledge the portion that you’re accountable for the falling relationship, it’s time to have a serious discussion with your other half to find ways to settle the shortfall. Talk about what each party will have to do to make things right this time.
This is a difficult step because it can easily resort in to some horrendous arguments. Perhaps, it’s human behaviors that we don’t like to hear our partners telling us why they are not satisfied or happy with us. The same thing will happen to them when it is our turn to point out their errors. Very often when one partner is trying to share their concerns, and because the other person can’t accept the criticism, it will quickly turn into a yelling session. The meeting fails and nothing will be worked out.
This is the time both people will need to be open and mature enough to accept criticism, with the end objective in mind of trying to re-connect. Before the talk, perhaps, it may be good that both people agree on some ground rules such as allowing only one person to speak at one time, no screaming and yelling, etc. This is important because if you are not listening to your partner while they are trying to feed back information on why they are not happy with the relationship, you won’t be able to make improvement to your traits and doings to rekindle things.
Reconciling a broken relationship isn’t too difficult to do if you know the steps. It takes a lot of hard work, and it also requires both people to look at things objectively in a mature way.