All relationships begin with a happy note. When two people get to know each other, they form a good first impression and then a good team. For a period of time they enjoy each other’s company. And then at some point, the relationship hits a rough patch, and sadly, good times don’t last forever. Now, the two of them have to deal with the painful emotions coming from the breakup.
Does this sound familiar to you? Each day people deal with breakup, and you’re definitely not alone. Some couples opt for a split up while others try very hard to save their relationship. If you’re willing to work things out and have a right attitude to do whatever it takes, getting back together with an ex is possible.
But before taking any action, you have to be truthful with your ex partner and yourself about the state of the relationship before it collapsed. It is usually hard to admit our own faults, or accept the truth for things that we don’t do well. But, if you aren’t being honest or willing to take ownership of your past mistakes, the situation will not get better even if you manage to get back with them later.
Next, you’re going to identify what causes the relationship to fail. Be careful not to misinterpret a symptom to be the root cause of the problem. For instance, if you think that frequent fighting between two people is the cause of the problem, in this case it is really a symptom. You need to ask why the two of you fight in the first place. If you continue to dig deeper by asking ‘why’ (ask ‘why’ 5 times), then you can get to the root of the issue. This is an important step to understand the fundamental issues of a relationship before getting back again.
If constant fighting is the symptom of the problem, then ask
- Why you fight? He spends more time with friends than with me.
- Why he does that? I keep nagging him.
- Why you nag him? Because I expect him…. to think like me….
(keep going until you find the root cause)
As soon as you’ve identified what the actual issues are, find a time to talk with your ex partner. It is important to approach the discussion in a positive manner so that they will not be defensive. Try to have a truthful talk about the issues in the relationship, and agree on the solutions to overcome the problems. If both parties agree to give the relationship another chance, then the two people will have to work on resolving them together.
Winning your ex back can take a lot of effort. You must be willing to do whatever it takes and have a right attitude. You also need to have a good plan and some proper strategies. Take a look at the video at this page to gain some insight before deciding on your opening move.