Can you talk to your partner openly as though he or she is your best friend? Having an effective communication in relationships is the most critical factor to ensure a good relationship continues to stay healthy. However, fostering a good relationship is not just about sharing your concerns and problems. It is about letting your partner feel how much you care for him or her. It is also about being able to communicate your “want” and “wish” as well as your goals to your other half.
Many people conveniently or habitually end phone calls with their partners saying “love you.” How many times do you do this in a week? Is that how you really feel about your spouse? I don’t deny this is a good thing to do, but sometimes people may be just routinely doing it without really having such feeling.
When things are proceeding well, many couples do not want to bring up issues, or raise any uncomfortable topics to spoil the day. They hold their tongue, and therefore there is no chance for problems to surface out. Some day when you’re arguing with your partner, all those concerns hidden in your heart will come out automatically like an avalanche and make your partner feeling blindsided. Many of us are caught in this situation on various occasions.
To communicate effectively with your partner requires active listening and sharing of thoughts in a truthful and secure environment. Any party who brings up concerns that may hurt the feelings of the other will not receive any repercussion such as being punished or yelled at. Both parties must agree to take each other’s viewpoint objectively, and be willing to listen to each other on the good and bad things. Sincere discussion helps couples build trust and respect, and remove any barriers that hinder a healthy relationship.
If your partner is trying to tell you his or her problem, but all you feel is that “you’re disturbing” or “you’re not good enough” then you have to first fix the behavior issue on yourself, and not your partner.
Help yourself and your partner by learning the essential skills for effective communication in relationships.