Coping with breakup is probably one of the worst experiences in life. You feel that you don’t ever want to have another relationship, and things will never be the same again. In most situations it takes time and energy for a person to recover back to the previous condition of life. The longer you have involved in a relationship, the harder it will take to survive through the ordeal.
Each person is different and the same goes with a relationship. There are no concrete rules for how long it takes to move on after splitting up with your lover. It just takes as long as it takes to get over the feelings. At this point some friends or family probably advise you to get back out there for a new life, but unknowingly they deprive you of the chance to understand all those issues that have happened.
To put things in perspective and sort things out is important at this time, but do it right. It is not about pestering your ex, finding reasons to convince yourself that love is over, or asking bunch of ‘what ifs’ questions. Instead do a postmortem on the relationship and try to identify what has gone wrong. Knowing where you didn’t do well in the past will give you a better chance to get over the situation without much baggage.
It is really not necessary to rush on “moving on”. Don’t expect to be able to see things clearly and logically within a few weeks. In many situations it actually requires one or a couple of months to examine the relationship in order to really understand the problem.
By doing all these things right, you will start to see some small, consistent steps forward within a month. If you’re still stuck at the initial steps, then you may require some external help. Don’t let yourself wallow in self-pity, engage in destructive or bad behaviors such as having sex with everybody, taking drugs, or having too much alcohol. Just look for the extra help you need.
Some people may think that getting help from others is a sign of weakness. Well, you probably need to have lots of courage and strength to be able to admit your mistakes and seek help.
If you can handle the hurtful emotions on your own, then one important thing you should do is to spend more time with positive people doing positive things. Is there a person around you that can always make you laugh no matter what happen? Spend more time with that person.
It’s time to allow yourself to do the things you’ve been wanted to do for a long time. You drop those hobbies in the past because your partner was not interested. Now is the best time to take up all those activities that are put on hold.
Breakup is really a bad experience in life, but at least you have dealt with it in a proper way. It will not only let you get over the ordeal a little bit more quickly, but you can definitely learn to handle the next relationship better.