Both partners will go through different emotions in the process of a relationship breakup. No matter who has initiated it, both couple will experience a roller coaster ride and need to deal with the pain. If someone has been a big part of your life, now things are no longer be the same again.
It may be easier to get through the crisis if you are aware of the different emotions and steps that will hit you. There is no shortcut for the healing process, and if you don’t deal with the different stages of the emotions, then you may not be able to heal completely. It can leave a long term effect to your future life, or cause trouble for you to fall in love again.
There are a few factors that will determine how long it takes to get over someone. Every relationship is different, and it depends on the individual’s capability to handle the situation. Someone who is cheerful and confident of themself may likely be able to go through the healing faster and easier than someone who is lacking of self-confidence and less happy of themself.
Here are 5 stages of a breakup.
The immediate feeling that hits you is the pain. It often begins with a certain level of disbelief and follows by a lot of pain. At this point you just want to hide in a corner and refuse to see anyone including friends and family. Everything you do require a lot of energy. Also, you have trouble in sleeping and don’t feel like eating at all.
Next, you don’t want to believe that the breakup is real. You think it happens only for temporary, and as soon as your partner realizes they made a mistake, they will make up with you and things will return back to normal. You may relax a bit and linger on this denial stage. But in fact, it is quite destructive as it prevents you from going forward and finishing the complete recovery cycle.
All the feelings that come from the last two stages are now turning into anger. You don’t understand why they treated you like this, and how you ended up in such a situation. Your emotions run high at this point which can affect your actions and behaviors. You really need to be careful for not doing anything damaging or hurtful that you may regret in future. If you can’t move past this stage of anger, you may have difficulty to own a happy relationship with another person.
In the grieving stage, you will mourn the ending of a relationship the same way you mourn when a loved one passed on. As your ex is no longer being part of your life, the feeling will be hurtful. Most people in this phase will grieve, and then move on. Be careful not to get into a depression.
When you reach this final stage, you realize that the love is gone. You finally accept the reality and start to think about your own future. The past relationship and your ex partner are now just part of the history. You are looking forward for a better tomorrow and the possibility to find a new love again.
Knowing the different stages of emotions you face, it allows you to work through them much easier. All these steps are normal, and when you have successfully worked pass them, you find yourself starting to look forward for a better future.